2019

 And just like that, it's a new year and a new decade.

2019 flew by so quickly and now I find myself refreshed and recharged from the holidays, starting a new planner with a new resolution, and getting the year wrong when I have to write down the date (you can't imagine the number of times I've written "2019" when it should already be 2020. Haha.)

I got to take a long break over the holidays (read: 2 weeks) and it's done me a lot of good. But maybe it's also because all in all, this year has been relatively chill.

NO BIG TRIPS - just lots of repeat visits to Japan and Korea (twice each). Slow travel for healing. They were great, memorable trips and were exactly what I needed.

LOTS OF FANGIRLING. I rarely mention my fangirling in my year-end posts, but after many years I've come to terms with the fact that it is a big part of my life, and I should talk about it more! For 2019 it was mostly, almost entirely fangirling for iKON, a continuation of last year. I owe my second trip to Osaka for the year to iKON, because we went to watch their concert - our first time to see them as just six members. I will only say this: I never thought I would get myself a concert ticket and book myself a flight to a foreign country just to be made to cry so much. It was a crazy emotional experience. But it's okay - iKON is still OT7 for me!

But at the home stretch I discovered a new fandom to get into: The Untamed, or CQL, or MDZS. Or two super handsome men who are each other's soulmates in magical ancient China. Haha.

I mean, look!

WORK IS WELL. There were some changes in my role but it's not work I don't know how to do. So far, it's going well. I think I can stay in this company and in this role for a while. I'm not too stressed, I am able to live comfortably, and most importantly, I have time to pursue my passion. For the first time in my corporate life, I am at peace with the fact that I am in corporate. No more angst, no more sarcasm, no more anxiety. Instead, a certain kind of calm and comfort, an inner peace.

MY PASSION. I say this year has been pretty chill but actually, I had a pretty amazing personal milestone happen this year! I finished two manuscripts - one I've decided to set aside for now, another I've been able to share with the world for free under a pen name, and the reception has been great! If there's one thing I'll take away from this year, it's the motivation I got from the fact that other people - people who don't know me, actual strangers - took the time to read my work, provide feedback, and even get to know me after. It feels like one big step in the right direction. Like this really is what I'm supposed to be doing. Building worlds and characters, telling stories, and sharing them with others.

So maybe it's not exactly a chill year, it's just that it wasn't a difficult one - pretty easygoing, single-minded in my goals, and definitely less drama compared to last year.

FRIENDSHIP AND FAMILY. This year I learned to step back from friendships in the hope that giving them breathing room will make them stronger in the future, while keeping and building on other friendships I know are for keeps. I also got to make new ones, and it's opened up my world a little bit more and made my bubble bigger, which I am so thankful for!

Also, family is everything. And I know now for sure how I want my family to be in the future. Again, that gives a certain kind of calm and comfort, an inner peace.

What do I hope for in 2020? I hope and pray for health and happiness, for myself and everyone I care about. That whatever comes our way, we will be able to come to terms with it.

I also hope and will strive to to achieve more life-long goals. Actually, just the one: to finally, FINALLY publish my books. For real this time. I am claiming it, owning it, and committing to working towards it. This year, I will publish at least one book. Four, if everything goes according to plan.

Wish me luck! Here's to an amazing 2020. :)